Rime of the Ancient Pilot

Nicola lent us a funny book yesterday, the Brand-X Anthology of Poetry, that parodies famous poets ancient and modern.

Therefore I had a go myself and came up with the following, with apologies to Coleridge and to a pilot I know who recently flew his Cessna 172 to Madison, Wisconsin and back. I sent a copy to various people including Nicola who replied that I ought to put this on my blog, so here it is.

Rime of the Ancient Pilot

There is an ancient pilot 
Who stoppeth one of three, 
Who never fails to tell his tale: 
"I took off to the west," quoth he. 

"I fear thee, ancient pilot! 
I fear thy glitt'ring eye. 
I have not time to hear it all, 
Please keep it short!" begged I. 

The pilot gives a dreadful glare; 
He means his tale to tell 
From start to finish. Do I dare 
To interrupt him more? 

"I took off to the west," quoth he, 
"A headwind strong did blow. 
I set my teeth, looked out beneath, 
I was all set to go." 

[36 verses omitted] 

"... And then I saw Lake Michigan, 
How deep it was and wide, 
And storms were on the radar screen: 
T'would be a risky ride. 

The winds did rage, the rain did fall, 
Lightning flash'd all around, 
While safely in the F.B.O. 
I waited on the ground. 

But then I spied a chance to fly, 
A blessèd, blessèd gap. 
Between two storms I would not die: 
I took my chance, and left. 

I ventured north, I ventured west, 
I flew her o'er the water 
Even although my wife had said 
I never really oughta." 

"And did'st thou die, thou bearded loon? 
And art thou but a ghost?" 
"Of course I'm not," quoth he, 
"Although I do not want to boast. 

I landed in Wisconsin, 
I spoke with earth-bound men, 
And when my work was done there, 
Took to the air again. 

I set my course unto the east ..." 
"Oh no!" saith I, "Not more! 
Please tell me on the morrow, 
For I've heard it all before."