The Wedding!

I can hardly believe it, am in Beijing and my blog access is suddenly working! For the first week here I have been trying to do this without success.

Here's the email I sent to some of our friends and relations last night:

">Our son got married in China, today. It was a happy, noisy day. The volume of noise is a measure of happiness here. Fireworks exploded as we arrived at Sha's parents' home this morning, alerting all the neighbours and passers by, more fireworks spewing confetti as well as gunpowder smoke as our convoy of red cars arrived at the restaurant (a sort of indoor tropical garden with water features and several separate eating areas) and a clash of cymbals as the "lions" and accompanying acrobat began to dance outside the front door. The Master of Ceremonies yelled at the top of his voice into his microphone, welcoming all the guests, about 100 of us. Once at our tables very loud Chinese music was broadcast through the loud speakers, music that incorporated squeaky birdsong, hard to describe. Later on, we did also hear some background music that George had chosen that sounded less foreign, Saint Saens' "Swan" from the Carnival of the Animals, for instance.

Sha wore three dresses. When we first saw her sitting on the red quilt on her bed, the bed head decorated with Chinese "double happiness" characters, in her flouncy white dress, she looked like a flower. She wore roses in her black hair, too. George was obliged to sing to her, but he didn't get very far; he also had to go down on one knee to her. That much we could follow, but when it came to shooting the three arrows, stepping over the bowl of "fire" and the horse's saddle, we were less sure of what it all meant. By this point, George had changed out of his smart suit and was wearing a sumptuous robe decorated with dragons, and an elaborate headdress. Sha was likewise dressed in traditional wedding clothes, with a heavy crown on her head, this covered with a red cloth, so that she couldn't see out. Later in the ceremony, on the dias, George was presented with a ceremonial stick, with which to lift the veil. In the old days, this would have been the first time the young husband saw his wife's face. Chris and I and Sha's parents watched the procedure from our four thrones, two on either side of a table decorated with red flowers, apples and nuts. Also on the table were a pair of candles, which the two fathers lit, and a bowl of sand in which to place the bunch of incense sticks, which it was my job to light. Every new phase of the ceremony was introduced and commented upon by the MC with the very loud voice, shouting into his microphone. He and the best man (George's colleague Xiao Peng) were also dressed in traditional, colourful robes. Xiao Peng was a very necessary member of the wedding party, prompting George in what to do, how many times to bow to the heavens, to the guests and to the families. George had to offer tea to Sha's parents, calling them Baba he Mama for the first time (into the microphone, of course). When Sha's turn came, she offered us tea as well, from cups with lids, likewise calling us Dad and Mum for the first time. As she did so, we handed her a red envelope containing a financial gift, a cheque in pounds stirling rather than Renminbi, but nobody except us knew that. Much applause. The young couple (xiao liang kou, little two-mouth), after bowing profusely to one another, had to feed each other a dumpling with their chopsticks and drink one another's health from spoons held out from linked, crossed arms. Suddenly it was my turn to enter the spotlight and give my speech. I was pushed to the front of the dias and handed the microphone as I began to read from my prepared notes in Chinese. Lucky that I'd printed the speech in a large enough font because I'd forgotten to bring my glasses with me. Anyway, people said they understood what I said and were touched by my willingness to give it a go, and that is the main thing. Mr Du, Sha's father, also gave a speech of similar length thanking the guests and the people who had helped to make the big day run smoothly.

The rest feels like a blur now. We had a huge and delicious feast, with so many dishes on the table that they were piled one on top of the other. Coca cola and sprite, spirits, bottles of beer, a teapot and strong spirits in the middle of each table, bowls of nuts decorated with those little Australian koala bears, piles of cigarettes for the guests. Little children, several of them aged between 2 and 4, ran around with balloons, and Chris made friends with them all. One little boy, encouraged by his parents, said "Hello what is your name where you come from?" with great pride. Chris taught the children the word "balloon." Sha's "nainai" (grandmother on her father's side) came up and held our hands and told us we were the mother and father of George. I said that we were very happy to be Sha's parents in law; Sha's aunt repeated my message by shouting the same very loudly into the little old lady's ear, at which she gave us the thumbs-up sign. George's astronomy colleagues from Australia and North America congratulated us in a more conventional fashion, as bemused as we were by the experience of The Chinese Wedding. Sha meanwhile had changed into her third dress of the day, a strapless, bright orange party frock and George was back in his suit, the two of them doing the rounds of the tables, toasting everyone from their little glasses.

Suddenly, about 2 hours after the very precise start of the ceremonies (11:58, because of the lucky numbers in that time of day) the party was over and people rapidly dispersed. It is not the Chinese habit to linger after feasting. A friend of the family offered us a ride back to the hotel while George, Sha and her parents stayed on to say goodbye to the last of the departing guests. Once in our hotel again, Chris and I spent a while relaxing with Rob, Sally and Daniel in our room, then George and Xiao Peng briefly turned up to collect the luggage they'd left here (they also stayed at the hotel last night) and when everyone had gone I fell into a deep sleep, and so did Chris."

 But much of what we experienced has left us lost for words. Tai bang le. It is all very wonderful.